There is a tension I have been sitting with lately and I know I am not alone in it. Scripture is clear that we are called to love our neighbor. We are called to be patient, kind, forgiving, and generous with our time and our hearts. I am not saying we should stop investing in people or pull away the moment things get hard. Love costs something. Community takes work. There are seasons where we pour more than we receive and that is part of walking like Jesus.
But there is also a wisdom that has to be honored.
There comes a point where you have to pause and take an honest look at what is actually happening. If you are the only one reaching out. The only one encouraging. The only one checking in. The only one praying. The only one pouring. And it stays that way over time. Not just a rough season but a pattern. Then it may be time to reevaluate.
The Bible speaks to this too. Proverbs tells us that plans succeed with wise counsel. Ecclesiastes reminds us that two are better than one because they help each other up. Paul talks about being mutually encouraged by one another’s faith. Healthy connection was never meant to be one sided forever.
Your circle matters. The people closest to you have influence whether we like it or not. They should be the ones who call you higher, not keep you stuck. They should be the ones who will pray with you and for you. The ones who are willing to speak truth in love. The ones who encourage you to go deeper in your walk with God, not quieter about it.
If the people around you are not pointing you back to Jesus. If they are not willing to listen when you are hurting. If they consistently drain you but never strengthen you. It does not make you unloving to notice that. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is tell the truth about what something is and what it is not.
Not every connection is meant to be a kingdom connection. Some people are assigned to a season, not a lifetime. That does not mean they were a mistake. It means the season had a purpose. There is a way to honor what was without clinging to it past its expiration date. Romans tells us to give honor where honor is due, but it does not say we have to stay bound to what God is clearly asking us to release.
Letting go does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it is simply choosing to stop over explaining. To stop chasing mutuality that is not there. To stop carrying responsibility for relationships you cannot fix on your own. Sometimes it is just seeing things for what they are and trusting God enough to move forward anyway.
Jesus Himself did this. He loved deeply, but He did not entrust Himself to everyone. He withdrew when needed. He stayed focused on the Father even when others did not understand. There is freedom in following that example.
This is not about cutting people off in anger or closing your heart. It is about stewardship. Of your time. Of your energy. Of your calling. Of your walk with God. You are allowed to ask whether the relationships in your life are producing fruit or simply keeping you busy.
If something belongs in the past, you do not dishonor it by releasing it. You honor it by acknowledging the role it played and trusting God with what comes next. Sometimes clarity comes when we stop forcing things to be what they are not.
And sometimes moving forward begins with the quiet courage to let go.
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