No one really talks about the pain that comes with letting go. The kind of letting go that doesn’t happen in a moment but keeps happening over and over again. Letting go of what once felt like your entire identity. Letting go of the person you fought for in the spirit for years. Letting go of the future you imagined. Letting go of the life you thought you were building together. Letting go of what felt familiar even when it was hurting you. And one of the hardest parts is learning how to release someone you still loved, even when they didn’t love you well or treat you the way your heart deserved.

There’s a difference between covenant and captivity. And for years, I didn’t know the difference.

There comes a point in your walk with God when He asks you to stop hiding behind silence and start walking in truth and not out of pride, but out of peace. That’s where I am right now. I’ve carried a lot quietly for a long time, but I’m realizing that silence can sometimes give the enemy a foothold. Silence in it's season is a good thing but sometimes conversations need to be had for transparency. And I refuse to live bound by fear, assumption, or misunderstanding any longer. I know I don’t owe explanations, but I also believe that walking in the light brings freedom.

There comes a time when you realize that holding on to what’s behind you only keeps you from walking fully into what’s ahead. This is that time for me. I’m stepping into a new season, not with bitterness, regret, or exhaustion, but with peace.

Today was one of those days. One where I chose to stay home instead of entering a church building. Where I didn't have to face a crowd of people even if I do love the ones that attend it. Some days are easier than others. But today I chose to put on my comfy clothes and grab my blanket, my coffee, and my bible study and went to set outside on the front porch with Jesus. It was the first real cool day of the fall season, and I loved it, despite the over casted clouds and the drizzle of rain.

One of the hardest things to do is learning to let go. As I am typing this, I feel like I have white knuckled so many things. We talk about surrender a lot but in truth no one talks about how genuinely hard it is to surrender things back to God. Especially when our flesh wants to hang on to something so badly. I am going to be completely vulnerable for a minute because this is a part of my faith journey and to let others know that they are not alone in the things they may be going through as well.

" A Little Something for ALL of us to think about and take back to the Lord in prayer"

Eventually, I’ll get back to doing videos again. But right now, I feel an urgent need to write but to speak to those of you who are so spiritually sensitive in this hour. Those who carry a prophetic gifting. Those who are feeling so many things all at once that you honestly don’t know up from down right now. I feel like I need to shout this from the rooftops, not just so you hear it, but so I hear it too:

The other day when I got up I finally felt a shifting in my spirit. I had a breakthrough! The Lord has had me in a season of rest and reset. When I say this has been one of the hardest seasons so far to be in. It definitely has been. But in this time, I have allowed myself to set with my feelings and emotions that have been bottled up for years. Feelings and emotions that I didn't allow myself to feel or even express. Some even being anger. Which is natural.

I wasn't led to openly share this word until now. It was what was given to me in service earlier in August and made the notes in my notebook:  “I Am Stirring the Waters”

This morning I heard in my spirit:“What the enemy meant for evil, God is using for His children’s good and for His glory.” (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28)

There’s a sobering truth we often overlook... every choice carries weight. Actions birth consequences. We can’t plant one thing and expect to harvest another. The Word makes it clear...“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7