There’s a difference between covenant and captivity. And for years, I didn’t know the difference.
Religion told me that being a “good wife” meant staying silent, praying harder, and carrying pain that was never mine to carry. Shame told me I’d be a failure if I walked away. Fear told me God would be disappointed if I admitted the truth. But the heart of the Father, the real One, not the distorted version religion paints, was whispering something different all along: “I never created you to be bound to abuse. Covenant does not require captivity.”
I need to say this clearly: This is not a post encouraging divorce. This is not me promoting walking away at the first sign of difficulty. Marriage is sacred. Covenant matters to God. Love matters to God. But abuse is not covenant. Manipulation is not covenant. Infidelity is not covenant.
Control, fear, torment, and dishonor are not covenant. And God is not asking His sons or daughters to stay chained to someone who refuses to love, refuses to repent, refuses to heal, and refuses to even acknowledge the destruction of their own hands.
“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice…” — Hosea 6:6
God would never demand the sacrifice of your safety, your sanity, or your soul just to keep an image alive.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
If God draws near to the brokenhearted, why would He expect you to stay where your heart is continually shattered?
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church…” — Ephesians 5:25
Christ does not abuse His Bride. He does not wound her, belittle her, betray her, or crush her.
He covers her. He heals her. He restores her.
So if you’ve done everything you can…If you have prayed, tried, forgiven, waited, and hoped… If you have extended grace until your heart was bleeding… And the other person still refuses to see the problem or seek help please hear me:
God is not glorified by your suffering. Your silence does not make you holy. Your endurance in abuse does not impress Heaven.
Divorce breaks God’s heart,yes. But so does watching His child be mishandled, mistreated, and unloved in a covenant that only one person is fighting for.
Sometimes the most spiritual, faith-filled, obedient thing you can do… Is get up and walk out of Egypt. Not in rebellion. Not in bitterness. But in freedom. Because the God who hates divorce also hates abuse. And He loves you too much to leave you in shackles.
xoxo Bridget
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